Tag: coaching

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It’s about the journey.

We’ve all heard that before, right? “Health is a journey, not a destination.” It’s a cliche because it’s true. 

I remember when it first “clicked” to me that I was ready to change my lifestyle, to lose weight, and feel better. I was 22 years old, freshly married, and really unhappy with how adulthood was panning out for me. Go to work, come home, sit and watch TV, eat a box of mac ‘n cheese, make a box of brownies, pour a rum ‘n coke. Sit. Sleep. Wake. Repeat. 

UGH. Blaaaaah! That kind of life was NOT leading to a healthy or happy person at all. So something shifted inside and I had this ‘ah-ha’ realization that I could redirect myself any time I damn well pleased.

And I was ready to do it, please and thank you.

As a naturally reward-centered and goal-oriented person, I set my first goal: to lose weight. I understand that weight-loss is NOT always an indication of health or wellness, or even positive changes for people. Oftentimes, weight loss is a scapegoat for some other deep seeded issues that people fixate on, and weight can be the ultimate blame or the ultimate “game” to focus on instead of whatever is really at the crux. But it was a natural first place for me to start, having never thought much about my weight before then (at least not obsessed over it). 

I was never an athlete growing up. I hated sports, hated games, and didn’t like being last and losing everything I attempted. (I had a few demoralizing years of attempting soccer, tennis, and track… nope nope nope.) So for me, getting started with anything fitness-wise was a first-ever attempt as an adult.

Working in a weight-loss clinic now, and having many years of health coaching experience under my belt, I can see how people wind up in the ‘yo-yo’ mentality with their weight. (See: scapegoat or distraction, above.) The real clincher I’ve found to be true in working with clients who are successful in losing weight and keeping it off is that there is a perceptible shift in how they think about their lives and themselves.

That happened for me – a life changing shift. It became not IF I lose the weight, but WHEN I lose the weight. (Again – “the weight” isn’t actually necessarily the problem here – but it was a tangible and measurable benchmark for me to start with in leading to a whole new lifestyle.)

The difference in thinking “If” versus “when” literally changed the direction of my life.

In my 20’s, I went through many phases in this journey. The first phase was weight-loss, and then it was active maintenance and calorie tracking. Then I shifted to intuitive eating, and started my journey to becoming a health coach. I tried the runner phase (I still run, but it’s not my sole identity), signing up for races, trying to better my distance and pace. I tried a yogi-phase (still love it, but am out of practice), and consistently did hot yoga and vinyasa, wore my mala beads and hippy-style clothes. I tried the body-building phase (which I’m still actively lifting now, but with a different approach), doing meaty meal-prep and steamed broccoli and egg whites…. Then I moved into the vegetarian>vegan phase… and then almost five years ago, I became a mom and had to readjust everything again.

Throughout all these stages, I was constantly looking for my next focus. Weight Loss. Maintenance. Health. Fitness. Motherhood. 

So what’s next? I’m already healthy. (check) I’m already pretty fit. (check) I’m already plant-based. (check) I’m an active mom, I work doing the things I love, married to a man I love. (check) I’m literally happier than I’ve ever been before. (I can’t believe how lucky I feel!)

You may be wondering why bother with a “next,” why not just stay right where you are? 

Because where I am is organic, ever changing, ever shifting and running through my fingers like an active stream. 

It’s not a destination. It’s a journey. 

It struck me that the next phase of my journey that feels right is a focus on improving my athleticism. 

For years, I’ve gone in phases of being more or less obsessive about exactly the number on the scale (for reference: I’m about 15 pounds heavier than my lowest weight, 10 years ago). But I’m seeing now that in my current life, this number has no place of health or wellness for me. I’ve already established habits that keep me healthy, so my weight is not a reflection of my health. I’m already very active, so it’s not a reflection of my lack of activity. My weight is simply my relationship with gravity. 

So it’s time to find a new focus. And I like the idea of being an athlete, growing into the “gains” I can make – the feats I can accomplish in this blessed strong body, versus how many pounds I can force it to shed. 

As a person who has never considered herself an athlete before, I’m ready to become one. I will never be an olympian or a professional anything. But I WILL be a badass 30-something mom who can squat and lift and sprint and curl. 

And you know what? You can decide to be whomever you want to be, whenever you want to. 

It’s never too late to be whomever you want to be.

Join your journey, just as you are. 

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Starting Over: Part 1

We all have to start over at some point in our lives.

Depending on how you’re feeling about it, the process can either be incredibly painful, or a fresh bright chance at a new beginning. For many of us, starting over can actually be a complicated mess of both these emotions, tangled up in this indecipherable web of conflicting feelings. 

I’ve had many years to process what happened to my dream, to my career vision with health coaching, and even to my marriage that waned and bent under the weight of failures and miscommunications. I started She Lives Fit as a bright and beaming 24 year old, ready to take on the world and make waves of positive change. Less than a year into my venture, I realized it was going to take a lot more financial security to make ends meet for my husband and I, and I gradually eased back into part time and eventually full time employment in other ventures. I was devastated, but still continued to accept a few clients on the side of my many hours of work and private teaching and volunteering.

In 2016, I birthed my son. Becoming a mother fundamentally shifted my entire life. (I feel like there should be a warning about the degree to which women feel altered hormonally and emotionally while breastfeeding, even when it’s not fully considered postpartum depression.) It was the closure of any “free time” I had to engage in entrepreneurial work while also working full-time and nursing my infant. I quietly let the door shutter on my dream, as my strained marriage and family responsibilities took its steady toll on any flicker of hope I had left.

I mourned the loss of this dream. Mourned it, cried over it, berated myself, gained some weight, struggled with certain healthy habits amidst roils of life change, and eventually just concluded I needed a new dream. Washed my hands. Moving forward. “You failed. Suck it up, buttercup.”

I experienced the end of my first marriage throughout this mourning process as well. Cue sweeping waves of emotional ruin, complete devastation… and somewhere buried under the ash: the smallest seed of hope for a new life and new dream ahead.

Starting over isn’t easy. Anyone who has been through a traumatic “end” of some kind knows that. And sometimes the way we start over is just by licking our wounds, tending to our emotional scars, and taking one baby-step at a time into a new existence.

Thankfully, the end of one chapter of my life began the start of a beautiful new vision and reality. I started my life over, grew into a more confident mother by single parenting, resolved to do better in my future relationships, and build myself into the self-made and confident woman I knew I could be and wanted to be back when I was 21 years old. I remarried – and have so much to be thankful for. My spouse is loving, encouraging, and supportive in all the right ways. From the beginning of our relationship, when I confessed my feelings of devastation and failure with my business, he said it wasn’t over. He said he could see it happening again – just with the right foundation in place. He believed in me long before I believed in myself, and for that I am so grateful.

When we got married, I quit my full-time employment in medical care, and moved into the position I hold currently with VitaLife: working in health and wellness coaching again, with the security of a business model that I knew would be successful, and support at home to make it happen. I also was able to focus on my private voice studio and expand the number of students I could teach. Everything was falling into place.

A few months ago, I was looking through bank statements and saw my recurring monthly web-hosting payment on my ledger, and got extremely agitated. 

“This is so dumb, Whitney. Why keep this stupid website you never even update or use, when you aren’t coaching on your own!? You keep paying year after year to keep this useless thing, just cancel it already.”

I slogged through the irritating process of resetting my usernames and passwords because I couldn’t remember any of it, and got logged in to my host site and hovered over “cancel”… I clicked it… and it said, “Are you sure you want to cancel and deactivate your domain?” 

And I hesitated. I wasn’t sure.

That tiny seed under the ash had been growing subconsciously, being watered and tended lovingly with the affirmations of my husband and the little pieces of fate falling into place over the last year with my jobs and life. I’ve been happier and more content than ever, which is the most fertile place for hope to germinate and thrive.

I didn’t want to give it up. I didn’t cancel, and I didn’t let go.

After a lot of discussion, excited brainstorming, and the right support, I decided it was time to refocus. Time to relaunch my dream, in a new direction and with my new life. I know so much more than I did nearly a decade ago when this all began. My life looks totally different, and so does our society and cultural norms. (And amidst the COVID nightmare we are all experiencing, I have had a lot more time at home to fill with work and projects.) The equation is completely different now….

It’s time to start over.

And I’m so glad that you’re here.

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First Video Blog (Vlog) – Health Coaching Principles

 

Greetings, friends!

Today, I got a wild hair and decided to try something new (well, newish for me): a video blog! I used to post an occasional vlog on SparkPeople when I was blogging regularly there, and would now like to get back in a routine of doing vlogs and blogs here on my own website. Sometimes it’s just better to hear things face-to-face, ya know?

My hope with these vlogs is to help generate conversation, and give you an opportunity to ask questions and possibly get them answered by me! I work on lots of different concepts with my clients, and would love to give you a little glimpse of what it would be like to work with me as a client.

In today’s vlog, I talk about my guiding principles in health coaching — the basic philosophies I have while working with clients toward healthy lifestyle changes. I hope you find it interesting, and that it gives you a better insight into what health coaching entails.

I would love to hear your thoughts, feedback, and questions in my comments below! Do you agree with my principles? 

What would you like me to talk about next week? Any burning questions you’d like me to share my thoughts on? Ask away, and I’ll choose one to answer in my next vlog!