What do you imagine your life being like in 10 years?
That’s an awfully tough question to answer. Honestly, I’m not sure I can even really formulate much of a concrete answer to this in the broad landscape of “life.”
But I can imagine who I want to be.
I think back ten years ago, and I would have never imagined my life would look like it does now. Key players have changed, my jobs have morphed and gone through various phases, I’ve lost family members and gained new friends. These things are all impossible to predict.
But I can say that ten years ago, I envisioned WHO I wanted to be in my thirties… and well, I am pretty darn close to who I want to be at this point. I imagined being a mother, working part-time and able to prioritize my health and family, being able to coach and help others, being a voice teacher with my own studio, being happily married and content in my relationships and life balance. And I can honestly say I am all of these things today, at nearly 34 years old.
When I started on my weight-loss and healthy lifestyle journey at 22 years old, one of the visions that kept me motivated and excited about the future was imagining myself as a “mom who jogs with her baby stroller.” And as specific and non-monumental as that vision was, it was intensely motivating to me. What would I need to do before I could be that person?
Well, I needed to start by moving. I needed to decide to run, even when I couldn’t go very far or very fast. I needed to start prioritizing myself early enough in my life that by the time I had the immense responsibility of motherhood, I could find the time and discipline to still prioritize myself and my health. By the time I was pregnant, I had established fitness and wellness in my life in such a consistent way, that it was natural to continue doing those things as I was growing a human inside me. When Theo was born, I gave my body the grace and time it needed to heal, and then started to run… with him… in a stroller.
It started with a vision, then became a series of small changes and steps along the way that snowballed into the very person I imagined at age 28.
The path to who I am now in my thirties started with the path I paved in my twenties. Now, I am looking ahead to forty. Who will I be then, and how will I get there?
It’s easy to get stuck on a very specific goal, and attach a whole lot of meaning to this set goal. I see it all the time in the weight-loss industry. People come to me with a “goal weight” that seems insurmountable. They’re starting off at 270 pounds, but want to be 130 pounds. They’ve fixated on a specific goal — a number — that has little meaning, and little likelihood of being achieved.
This is normal and not necessarily wrong, but it often isn’t the most productive or healthiest focus. A number, an event, a pant size… all of these things can end up as scapegoats for what people are actually aiming at — and that is a feeling or a vision of themselves that looks different from who they are now. When they don’t accomplish the specific “goal” they set (like losing 150 lbs), they self-destruct with deprecation and a feeling of failure.
When I talk to clients about what their goals are, I try to help them dissect what they tell me into measurable steps. Sometimes, it’s about widening the scope of vision outside of just a number (thinking “big” – like years from now), and then narrowing it down again into shorter time frames and bite-sized steps to get there. Sometimes, it’s about starting with what they are looking for in the imminent future (often weight loss), and what that means for them when they play out the reality of accomplishing their goal going forward.
For example, a client often comes to me with these goals: 1) to be healthier, and 2) to lose weight. These are great goals, but they are vague. They lack specificity, measurable progress, attainability, realism, and timeliness. (The components of S.M.A.R.T. goals!)
So, we need to take the time to dissect what “healthy” means in their definition, and what they hope to feel and change in their lives by weighing less? What would weight-loss mean to them? Is it about just a specific number, or is it about a feeling of worth and self-love?
If it’s about the *feeling* (hint: it usually is), then I encourage them to practice the feeling starting now… sit in it, work on the steps that you believe will help you accomplish the goal, and praise yourself for making a choice every day to prioritize something you find important.
So often we have to begin from a place of feeling deeply insecure about what we are attempting in order to gain the confidence that comes with accomplishing it along the way.
What kind of goals and visions do YOU have for yourself? Ask yourself if the goal is “SMART,” and what VISION it is leading to in the long term.
For me, my vision for age 40 is to be the fittest and strongest I’ve ever been, to have a fulfilling career and family life, to travel and have fun with my husband routinely, and to have accomplished another accreditation or continuing education that will enrich my knowledge and experiences in helping others.
Each day leads to the next. It’s time to do something today that helps you become the very future you envision for yourself.
