healthy – She Lives Fit

May 3, 2022May 3, 2022

Heroes & Supporting Characters

My husband Kevin and I recently finished watching the series Game of Thrones (I know, I’m late to the party). It was a really slow burn for me at first, since I am very resistant to horror, gore, war, and general themes of evil in my entertainment choices. We started the show back in 2018, and got side tracked when we moved (and I needed an emotional breather from the oftentimes anxiety-producing episodes that left me reeling).

After a few years of recovery (lol), I finally felt ready to embark on the GOT cinematic journey again in the last few months. We picked up with some revisiting of storylines and themes, and then flew through the final three seasons.

I won’t say I loved it all. There were actually moments where I felt so utterly overwhelmed emotionally, with tears streaming down my face and gut clenching, that I literally had to leave the room. (Watching emotive theatrics with an Empath is a whole experience in itself.) I would end an evening feeling shaken, anxious, excited, and completely affixed all at once. If you’ve seen the series – you know what I mean.

But at the end, which I was bracing for with lots of tittering and warnings that the ending shocked and horrified many, I felt… surprisingly at ease.

Suddenly, everything fell into place. The themes that had been background became foreground. Characters I couldn’t quite settle in my mind became key players in the arcs. It all made sense. I’ve been sitting with the series resolution and rehashing parts as they relate to me, and my human experiences in my own story.

There are a few players whose purpose doesn’t really stand out until the very last season. They flit in and out of episodes for brief interludes. And then you see it. You see that they were key in the stories of the heroes – the ones who “save the day” in some way through the narrative. But you didn’t give them much thought through the series.

They’re hero-supporters. They are key. And it didn’t make sense and now it does.

I feel like in many ways, as people we try to avoid being “supporting characters” and instead be our own “heroes” in our stories. Remember the line from the cheesy romcom – The Holiday?

“Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you’re behaving like the best friend.”
The Holiday

I love the sentiment in this quote, but I think it’s easy to get caught up in our own egos about what it means to be the “Leading Lady” (or Hero).

I’ve been thinking about this through the lens of my ego lately. The things that I saw myself doing when I was young. Achievement. Success. Changing The World. Making A Difference. Chasing My Dreams. Empowering Others.

All the Big Things (capital B capital T).

I thought that once I hit my stride in adulthood, you know – at like 25 years old – my story would fall into place, and suddenly make sense… I would understand my grand purpose and the hero-arc I’m meant to fulfill in the World… (or some maybe less grandiose, but still ego-centric lens).

And really – we all have this to some extent. We long to make waves. To create something amazing, to help the planet in some way, to cure cancer, to make a ton of money and leave a legacy for our children and grandchildren. But what I’m seeing more clearly lately is how not everyone is destined to be the “Leading Lady” or “Hero” in the whole series. Some of us are meant to be key supporting players in the richness and complexity of the story-arc of our brief blip on this floating rock. We are critical and meaningful in this way.

A way in which I’m seeing this play out in my own life and story-arc: singing. I always LOVED to sing. Even when I had no clue how to. I longed to be a back-up singer (ironically) to a famous star on stage. To be able to travel and sing and dance and have people cheering, but not have the stress of the limelight shone upon me in every angle. Eventually, from this childhood dream grew a love of classical singing, choral, and opera. I wanted to be THE BEST… I wanted to sing Opera. Or be in musicals. To travel and create and perform.

Instead, I did none of those things. I sang in college, and then started out of college as a baby-teacher trying to get a voice studio off the ground so I could keep music in my life. Thirteen years later, it’s more than just a little hustle for me – I keep as many students as I can in my roster, while still prioritizing my family boundaries, and I find healthy part-time employment and creative satisfaction in sharing my passion with youth.

I’m not a “Leading Lady” star in music. I never will be. But I might be a supporting character in helping another person shine in the way she was destined. I may make a difference – even in the small sliver of time we work together through her school years. I might just plant a seed that helps another do something Great – even if it’s in the way my own teacher planted seeds for me to carry on her passion.

A friend recently called me the “Queen of Balance” when I was feeling low and playing the comparison-game of myself to others.

It struck me that this truly is one of the truest depictions of my ‘superpower’ as a nearly-middle-aged adult. I have many roles, but principally I aim to find balance in the ways I earn a living, prioritize my family, grow emotionally and spiritually, and give of myself in supportive and meaningful ways.

I may not be slaying dragons, killing Night Kings, saving the world, or singing with the Metropolitan Opera… but I am showing up each day to play my supporting part in your life – and my own – from a place of love, sincerity, and openhearted spirit.

Love and peace to you all, my friends.

September 15, 2020September 15, 2020

Perfect Fluffy Oat Pancakes

Venturing into egg-free baking and cooking can sometimes be a bit of an intimidating process. Eggs are used as a binding agent in many baked goods, and sometimes for leavening. When you subtract eggs from a recipe that calls for them, often the result is a crumbly or gummy mess, or completely flat.

Pancakes are a simple way to start incorporating egg-free options in your weekend baked treats. I’ve made some pretty flat, sticky textured pancakes over the last 8 years of vegan baking – so I know how they can pretty easily go south for satisfaction value.

These pancakes were born from a desire to make something that is:

Healthy
Whole grain
Fluffy and light
Vegan (free from eggs and dairy)
Quick to throw together

My son is a “pancake monster” and routinely inhales four pancakes, PLUS additional breakfast foods. Given his love for pancakes any day, I wanted a mix that was already put together, and could easily be measured out without following a recipe every time I make them.

To prepare as a “pancake mix” – just stir all the dry ingredients together and store in a zipper bag or container. When ready to make, Measure out 1:1 ratio of dry ingredients with your choice of milk. (I.e. 1 cup of dry mix + 1 cup of milk + 1/2 T. ACV, 1/2 tsp vanilla.)

Let me know if you try these and what you think! The AP flour could probably be subbed for simply oat flour or GF AP flour to make these gluten-free, but I haven’t tried with these ratios to say if it affects the fluffiness/lightness of the texture.

Perfect fluffy oat pancakes

1/2 cup organic AP flour

1/4 cup oat flour (ground whole oats)

1/4 cup quick oats (or old fashioned)

1 T baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1 T monk fruit sweetener or xylitol

2 T coconut (optional)

1 cup nondairy milk (such as unsweetened almond)

1/2 T apple cider vinegar

1/2 tsp vanilla

Mix all dry ingredients (can be mixed in advance like a pancake mix to store for later!).* Whisk ACV in milk and let sit a moment to curdle. Mix into the dry and add vanilla. Let the batter rest 5-8 minutes while your skillet heats. Measure by 1/4 cup fulls onto the skillet flipping when golden browned. Top with your choice of favorite toppings!

*I routinely quadruple this recipe and then store as a dry-mix for a quick prep on a weekend morning. Measure out by 1 cup dry + 1 cup milk + 1/2 T. ACV + 1/2 tsp vanilla.

September 8, 2020September 8, 2020

Making Space

In a society where fullness and success is equal to the amount of “stuff” you can pack into a day and a life, I’ve been doing some mindful thinking about “emptying” out some things to make some space.

Really, this practice started with the onset of quarantine this spring.

We were all jarred from our “normal” and left to question what are the activities we truly value, and who are the people we truly crave and need in our lives. We slowed down, simplified, spent more time at home, and opened up space in our lives — even if we didn’t really want to or choose to.

This has looked different for everyone, and continued or ceased to varying degrees. But the reality is, everything changed in some way for all of us back in March. And we are left either nursing wounds and healing from traumas, and/or examining what this “new normal” looks like and trying to fill in gaps with what we know between what we don’t know. (Maybe we are left with all of the above.)

I had a beautiful conversation recently with my friend whom I admire deeply. Kendra has been through the ringer this year, with unparalleled struggles and challenges amidst what’s been an overall bitter and tense year for most of the world with uncertainties. She has been going through a journey with breast cancer during a world-pandemic, and experiencing transitions in her entrepreneurial businesses as well. Through it all, she is one of the most positive, inspiring individuals I am honored to know, and keeps reevaluating what new opportunities lie on the horizon.

We talked about clearing space, and leaving space, in a simple analogy about cleaning out the fridge. You know when life gets busy and you have barely been able to make food at home, or you let those leftovers sit in the fridge for well past their consumption point? Well, there comes a time when we have to open the door, acknowledge that we missed our opportunity to use the produce and eat the food, and toss it. It needs to be cleared out. It’s done, it’s no good, and it’s gone bad. Toss.

The impulse (for me, and many of us) in this situation is first: to blame ourselves and gripe about wasting food; and then to make a list of things I “need” and go to the grocery store to fill the shelves again with renewed intentions to Make All The Food and Do Better.

But what if we don’t immediately rush to fill the open shelves? What if we re-examine what we are left with, and decide to get creative? What if we remember that we actually have a whole pantry of food as well, and can find ways to hold off on the impulse to immediately refill the fridge?

It’s uncomfortable to be left with space. It forces us to look at what is left outside of the immediate and cursory view of our needs. We need to get creative with what we have, and see that life can and will go on, and our bellies and minds will not starve.

Just in the last four weeks, after months of planning for my new school year with my voice studio, I had five students fall off from my roster last minute. Five spots. I had been planning on the return of several students from last year, and the starting of a few new ones I had been in communication with for a few months. And then bam. Nope. Not returning.

It hit me hard. My first thought was frustration, followed by a deep seeded insecurity (what did I DO wrong? Why don’t they like me!?). Then came panic and worry about what that means for my planned income. And then the intense urge to immediately start marketing and seek out as many new students as possible to Fill Up Space in my allotted spots.

As I’ve sat with this new openness, I’m coming to see that it’s not the worst. We will be okay financially. The space is giving me a chance to have openness on weeknights where I would normally be crammed into mental focus from 3:45-8:00 pm. It’s lightened my load. And I can focus on filling space with the quality students that really truly want to learn and continue in this path of music with me.

Another way I’ve been challenging myself to be ok with space is by deleting Facebook from my phone. I’ve found myself mindlessly scrolling for upwards of hours cumulatively on and off throughout most days, with nothing of substance to show for it. What could that space in my day allow for me to do instead? What do I gain from feeling frustrated and depressed by political posts and caustic comments on threads of divisive vitriol? Nothing. Clear it out. Be done with it. Toss it. It’s gone bad.

In the month of September, I’ve also made a challenge for myself to stop drinking alcohol. Like so many during this stressful year, I’ve settled into a habit of a few glasses of wine most nights of the week, and although I don’t think that’s the worst thing, I feel like I could do with a break from it mentally and physically. So I’ve shifted focus to other habits in the evening for unwinding. What does this space look like? It may look like ice cream sometimes, or a cup of hot tea. Maybe it’s an earlier bedtime, or sparkling water in a pretty glass. Although I really miss wine every night, I’m glad to be doing this experiment (with two planned breaks – a wedding, and a special date 9/26).

As we lead into a new season, I challenge you to consider what making space can look like in your life. Maybe you work to create space where you’ve felt stifled and overwhelmed. Or maybe you simply re-evaluate what the space looks like that’s been left in the wake of this year of pandemic and stress.

We can choose to do with the space whatever we want.
““You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”
– Dr. Seuss from “Oh the Places You’ll Go”

May 28, 2020May 28, 2020

Starting Over: Part 2

What is a fresh start without a fresh look?

When I started spitballing ideas for how I wanted to reshape and redirect my business offerings as a coach, I contemplated whether I wanted to stick with my brand – She Lives Fit – or abandon completely and rename as well as redesign the image. Back in 2011, I went through a series of possible business names, focused on fitness, wellness, health, alliteration plays with “Whit Wellness,” “Fit Whit” and many more… but I landed on “She Lives Fit” after realizing I wanted to focus on she – not me. Also, I loved the idea of “fit” as much more encompassing than exercise. “Fit” meant living in a way that “meets your purpose” – that “fits” for you. In my coaching, I have always focused on “fitting MORE” healthy, positive things into your life, to naturally make less space for the things that are less “fitful” for you.

Of course, “living fit” can also mean living in a way that is physically active, mindful of your health, and prioritizing your wellness in a way that results in ultimate “fitness.”

So back to relaunching: I decided I didn’t want to part with the name I’ve bonded with and held onto throughout the years. But I did want to refocus the tagline and direction.

She Lives Fit: Plant Powered Coaching.

Fitting healthy food and ethical choices into your family life.

When my original logo was conceptualized, I did it myself with an outdated version of Creative Suite, back in 2011 in a time of different design aesthetics. I was young, fresh in the world of health coaching and wellness, and didn’t really have a full concept of what I would find as my niche. My logo was bright, youthful, bouncy, girly, and incorporated an element of a female form “leaping” into a new life.

Rethinking my approach this time, and reflecting on how my own life has transitioned and evolved over the last decade, I wanted some help from an expert in the design field. So I contacted my brilliantly talented best friend and graphic designer, Katie Sterner, to help me out with the project.

We talked about my vision… incorporating plants, organic movement, growth, transition, maturity and sleek line elements into the concept. She helped flesh out the brand to several options (all beautifully done) and we settled on the one I’ve debuted today.

The emblem is meant to evoke a feeling of forward movement, direction, and organic leaf-like form, with a dawning/horizon abstract element in the circle rising above. The font is classic, clean, mature, and relatable as adults who appreciate form and structure. The tagline, “Plant Powered Coaching” is meant to encompass the direction I take in giving YOU the power to reclaim your health through plants. You get to decide what that looks like. It doesn’t need to be the same for everyone, and it doesn’t need to conform to a set definition of “vegan,” “vegetarian,” “whole-food-plant-based” or any set diet out there.

Let’s determine how to fit plants into your life, in a way that is empowering, enriching, and sustainable.

I hope you love the new look as much as I do! I wanted to share my journey of rebranding and relaunching with you all to give a better view of what I plan to do here, and how my business mantra and passion is evolving.

Are you curious about what I could offer for your life and goals? I hope you’ll reach out. I can chat quickly on the phone for 15 minutes, or we can set a coffee date and get into more detail. Either way, I’m here to listen.

Let’s plant some seeds to move you into your right fit.

In your best health,

Whit

May 20, 2020May 20, 2020

Healthy cashew queso dip

Whitney Werner, Certified Holistic Health Coach, featured on Keloland Living, May 19, 2020

One of the most versatile skills to master in your plant-based cooking is incorporating cashews to your dairy-free sauces. Including cashews in your diet is a great way to get some extra protein, calcium, iron, magnesium, and phosphorous. Cashews are also one of the only food sources high in copper – which is great for supporting elastin and collagen in your muscles and bones.

Cashews have a beautiful silky consistency when blended – mimicking the creamy texture we all know and love from dairy creams and cheeses.

The key in a quick cashew sauce is soaking your cashews! Buy raw cashews (pieces are fine), and place in a bowl of water for a few hours, or overnight. Alternatively: you can quick-boil the cashews for 10 minutes, although this method may destroy some of the nutritional benefit to the raw cashews. Soaking your cashews makes them soft and easier to blend into a silky smooth sauce. They are also more easily digested! Important: Do not try to make cashew sauces with roasted cashews – the flavor does not turn out right! It will have a distinctive roasted-nut taste (trust me, I’ve made this mistake! Ha!).

FUN TIP: If a nut-allergy is a concern, RAW SUNFLOWER SEEDS can be used in many if not all of the same ways! Soak in advance, and use in place of cashews. The flavor is still very similar – but the seeds take a little longer to blend.

In this recipe, feel free to play around with spices to your particular liking and preference. I rarely measure exactly when I throw together a sauce or queso. Use it as a springboard to get creative!

¾ cup raw cashews, soaked several hours or overnight

1 ½ cups broth (or unsweetened plant-milk would work)

4 T. nutritional yeast

2 cloves of garlic

1 T. tomato paste

½ tsp red pepper flakes (to taste, add more for spicier!)

½-1 tsp pink salt (to taste, I prefer 1 tsp)

1 T. tapioca flour or cornstarch (add more to yield a thicker, stickier gooey cheese, or omit for thinner consistency)

Hot sauce, optional – to taste

2 T. to ½ cup of salsa (to your taste preference)

Blend all ingredients except the salsa in a high speed blender until smooth and no grit remains. (It may take a few minutes if using a food processor or not a high speed blender.) It will be watery/thin. Transfer to a small spot and heat on medium, stirring constantly. As the mixture thickens, add salsa to taste (I use about ¼ cup). Cheese will thicken very quickly, so do not leave unattended. Adjust spices to your preference, and remove from heat. Serve with tacos, nachos, quesadillas, or just as a dip for veggies or tortilla chips!

Interested in learning more about cooking with cashews? Check out my coaching offerings and individual cooking lessons, where I have a three-part series on making several varieties of cashew sauces and cheeses!

Did you try this recipe? Let me know what you think by dropping a comment below. Happy healthy eating and living, my friends!

May 13, 2020May 13, 2020

A Recipe for Health and Happiness

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a perfect “recipe” for your health and happiness?

Something like: 10,000 steps in the clean fresh air, 2 ½ cups of kale, 3 tsp of spirulina, 1 cup of brown rice, 1 apple, 8 oz. of celery juice, and 30 minutes of yoga per day. Consume daily, and add 1 supportive spouse, 2 respectful children, 1 well-cleaned home, 1-week tropical vacation, and a lifetime of empowering and lucrative work to round out the happiness factor. Voila!

I jest of course, but wow, that would be nice.

It would be nice if there was a simple equation to ensure you could do and have all that you want in your health and happiness… that if you eat juuuuuust the right combination of things, and earn juuuust enough, and have juuuust enough skills in stress-management, you can somehow successfully manage your weight, internal health, physical fitness, financial security, relationships, and mental wellbeing all at once.

It’s a fools game, really.

I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out that magical balance, both in my own life and for others whom I have coached. And the reality is that it shifts infinitely through life as you grow, as situations change, relationships fail and rebloom, and bodies age. There isn’t a perfect fit for everyone that will lend to that ever elusive “health and happiness” balance we all strive for.

So what on earth could I be offering, now that I’ve said no “one thing” can work to make it happen?

What I can do is offer you a chance at a step in a direction that brings you joy. A lifestyle transition that resonates with the peace you long to feel, and the pleasure of foods your body craves.

We are always in transition in this life. We are always in a process of “becoming”… evolving into a slightly different and more wisened version of ourselves. Through our experiences, our wins and failures, we are always tweaking that “recipe” for health and happiness – taking a little of this and that, and making it work for whatever we are going through.

As it looks right now, in the COVID-19 pandemic, we are all experiencing an upheaval of our “recipes”. So for many, now may be the time to adapt to what a new normal may look like… and to begin including new healthy habits and foods to your recipe.

Here is wishing you a most beautiful, healthful, and enriching new recipe.

January 4, 2018

SPARK in 2018: Simple Strategies for Success

Here we are again: days into the start of a New Year, the cushion of holiday indulgences straining our waistlines, reminders of the self-control we lacked for weeks (or possibly months). Leftover cookies litter the counters, and dusty hand weights sit neglected in our home gyms. We know we should put on sneakers and head outside for a run, but the call of the couch beckons, the incomplete to-do list nags our minds, and the thought of the cold air stinging our lungs keeps us stationary.

A new year always brings a renewed sense of hope, while the end of the last curdles with hindsight and perceived failures. I know personally I tend to set sights too high, and then feel tremendous frustration when the path takes unexpected turns that do not lead me to where I envisioned. It’s human nature to hunger for more than we can deliver, more than we have or can create.

So how do we reconcile this disappointment with the surge of a new beginning in 2018?

I have no fool-proof answers, or magic shortcuts to weight-loss or wellness. Ultimately, success lies in your dedication to make it happen. But I do have steps that can help us each get off on the right tract, and hopefully carry us through the challenges and setbacks that life will inevitably throw our way.

Here are a few simple strategies that will reap great rewards over the course of the next year.

S-P-A-R-K in 2018

Start Small
It is often the things that seem insignificant that become the greatest springboard for change over time. What is one small step and goal you can set that will give you momentum into a healthier lifestyle and happier you? Do you rely on a soda in the morning at your desk? Try gradually reducing that habit with substitutions and additions of healthier snacks and drinks. Can you spare 10 minutes on a break to do wall push-ups and body-weight squats? Even a simple habit like this can build into something greater over time.

Practice Consistency
When it comes to change and redirection, it is not what you do 10% of the time that matters, it’s what you do 90% of the time. Practice repetition of your small habit. When you catch yourself longing to ignore or brush it off, stop and remind yourself that this step will give you the foundation for the next step and the next. When you slip up and make a choice counter to your goals, return to your simple habit and value the practice of consistency most of the time. Practice may not make perfect. But practice makes consistency possible.

Advocate for yourself
You are a priority. Your needs and goals are a priority. When you start advocating for your own wellbeing and your goals, you make space for change to happen. If you are constantly putting yourself aside for others, and neglecting your needs, you wear yourself down and cannot offer your best to anyone or anything. This new year, start being your own advocate. What it is YOU need to feel better?

Rest and rejuvenate
Continual mental and physical energy forward requires recovery time. Even from small bouts of repeated self-control exercises, you need to award yourself the time and space to rest. Reconnecting with your spiritual health can be a profound way to rejuvenate in times of stress and intense attention.

Know your long term goal
How would your year shape up differently if you framed your choices around your long-term goal and dream for yourself? If you wake each day with your vision in mind, and your action steps in place to consciously create the reality you desire? Keeping your long term goal for yourself in the forefront of you daily decision making can radically redirect your life and your health. Who do you want to be in 2018, and how can you take small steps each day to make that person your reality?

As we head into a fresh new year filled with great potential and possibilities, I hope you can keep these simple strategies in mind to reignite your “SPARK” for your health and wellbeing.

Today, I challenge you to write a brief mantra and reminder for your first small step to begin. How will this year start off different than others? What will set your year up for accumulative success that does not stall at January’s end?

Let 2018 be the year for your wellbeing.

April 6, 2014

Skillet Chili with Spaghetti Squash

I am a big fan of meals that work together lots of my favorite vegetables and spices into one skillet, and provide for delicious “planned over” meals for lunches later! In my coaching clients, we work through many quick and easy meal ideas that build on this concept of combining existing fresh vegetables you enjoy with new flavors, and using previously prepared staple ingredients to make the process fast and simple!

Tonight’s meal was not quite as fast as many others I make on a weeknight, simply for the fact that I had to cook the large squash first, which made it a perfect Sunday dinner when I’m busy preparing other things around my home. Roast the squash in advance to make this a super fast weeknight meal!

[yumprint-recipe id=’3′]Let me know if you try this “template” for a dinner – and how it turns out! Be creative – mix it up, and try new vegetables and combinations weekly.

March 23, 2014

Let It Go

I suppose I can admit that I must have been living under a rock for the past year or so, as I have yet to see the Disney movie Frozen. Yes, I know. Shocker. But I’m not so out of the loop that I am at least familiar with / have heard the popular song “Let It Go.” And yes, I love it too.

What does this song have to do with anything on this blog? Well, I think that the central chorus and title have particular importance in my life, and probably yours, right now. So I’d like to explore that idea.

As you have probably noticed in my blog writings to date, whatever I write about tends to deal with something I’m currently experiencing, have been pondering, or have dealt with personally in the past. I believe that unlike reading about studies, conflicting diet and nutrition information, or arguments for or against a specific way of eating, the most impact comes from relating to another person’s reflections and experiences. That is why I share them here today.

Last week, while I was between running high-intensity bursts on the treadmill, I was huffing and puffing my way through an article in O Magazine. It was an outdated issue from before the New Year, but had a good feature on how to live 2014 to the fullest, and increase your happiness. Part of what struck me so in this article was the tip to practice letting go. The author wrote about the practice of mentally and physically letting go of negativity, behaviors, and lines of thinking that keep us paralyzed in self-doubt and loathing.

Huh. Panting and sweating away, I slowed down the pace on the treadmill. I was irritated that just one minute of running 8 mph was seemingly killing me. Wiping sweat from my brow, I decided to give this notion a little practice. Here I was in the middle of pushing my body in a workout, and my mind was obsessing over how inadequate I felt, worrying about how gross I was looking, and that my butt jiggles as I run.

Breathing in, I thought to myself, Let it happen…and as I exhaled I thought, Let it go…

Again, let it happen… let it go.

Let it happen… let it go.

This small shift in my mental energy helped me push through the rest of my workout and focus on being glad for what I was capable of, rather than critiquing what I felt were my inadequacies.

Over the past week, I’ve been trying the implement this little practice. Breathing in, let it happen, as I catch myself in a negative, self-abusive thought, and breathing out, let it go, as I release the thought from my mind. Amazingly, it has helped me to not dwell over the little insecurities I still harbor with my body.

A couple instances in the past few months have me reeling in self-doubt and easily slipping into some derisive and abusive thoughts about my body. Last month, while shopping for my evening gown for the International Pageant in July, I was insulted by a rude sales clerk when he told me that I should “lose some weight in my hips and butt” to help my dress fit better. It has been hard for me to not obsess over this stupid and inconsiderate quip, even though I know better and see his words as a reflection of his own obtuseness and not my health or attractiveness.

With these words ringing in my mind, as a million other more important things demand my attention each day, I have felt trapped back in a pattern of belittling my body and not appreciating all it is capable of, merely from the verbal critique from one stranger. Stupid, right?

As I go forward, attempting to refocus and direct my energy on mental and physical health and happiness, I’m trying to let it go… I see how wasteful this mental energy is to harbor each day, and how counterproductive it is for me physically.

When I mentally abuse or mistreat my body, by way of thinking negative things or saying things about myself like, “My belly is so swollen” or “I wish I had bigger breasts” or “I hate my thighs,” I begin to manifest these statements as my reality, and turn back to my old vices. Like many of you, I have a history of emotionally eating, eating for escape, eating to feel happy, eating to feel nothing, eating as a substitute for dealing with whatever really needs my attention. Being emotional abusive to myself in any way lowers me to the level of one who is verbally rude or abusive to anyone else… because I do it to me.

Looking in the mirror, I’m practicing positive affirmations, acknowledging that my body is a good body, that it is capable of doing so much and affords me a wonderful vessel in which to experience this amazing life. My body gets bloated sometimes, it feels sore oftentimes, it gets tired, it gains weight, it loses weight, it gives me unbelievable pleasure and sometimes inescapable pain. My body protects me from harm, cleanses me from toxins, and keeps me moving and speaking and thinking and breathing every single day.

My body is a good body. And so is yours – in every way.

So when I start feeling those icky, negative thoughts bubble up inside, I will breathe in, let it happen…and breathe out all that yucky stuff, let it go…

Maybe after that I will burst into song, Frozen style. ;)

March 5, 2014

Within or Without Motivation

Almost exactly four years ago, I was laid off from my job as a graphic designer, and fell into my lowest of lows of my young professional adulthood. I felt so little self-worth, and like all hope was lost… until something clicked inside me, and I just got annoyed enough with my pathetic attitude and choices that I decided to change. That little light bulb was the initial push I needed to really change my lifestyle and begin prioritizing my health. Somehow, things started to finally make sense – that I had control over my pant size and my attitude equally – that I could and would change if I wanted to.

That fresh beginning from a depressing end came from a deep internal motivation to do something better with my life. A deep, inner drive to be happier, live healthier, be more, act on my values and beliefs. It’s what got me started, and what keeps me going to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and not completely fall back into “pre-weight-loss” habits for good.

However… there are plenty of periods when that internal drive fails me. It’s just not enough! Yes, I want to “be healthy”… I want to be happy…. But in moments of weakness and frustration, “be healthy” just isn’t inspiring enough. “Be happy”…? Well, one dozen chocolate chip cookies can fill that need right now!

There are times when internal motivation is just too immeasurable. It’s not immediate, it doesn’t give me the here-and-now jolt that I need to stick to my resolutions.

And you know what? That is totally okay.

Recognizing that internal motivation may not always be enough force to get you moving does not mean it doesn’t exist. I think to some degree, internal motivation is present in all of us. Who among us doesn’t long to be healthy and happy? I’d venture to guess everyone longs for those things – and those are internal desires.

But internal motivation can be silent some days. Sometimes for long periods of time. And when we lack the strength to rise up from a deep will, it’s time to turn externally.

I think a part of me – and perhaps some of you – has thought that “external motivation” like rewards, or a specific date/event, or physical feat or accomplishment is somehow inferior to that pure internal driving will. But I’m here to say that depending on where you are in your journey and life, both internal and external drive are needed and equally valuable!

After that initial spark in my journey to a healthier body and mind, the internal inspiration quickly waned. I found that working out was HARD… it wasn’t immediately rewarding, and I hurt and wanted to quit. Counting my calories… that sucked too! It took so much willpower and self-control, I wanted to give that up! So what kept me going through that?

External rewards. Measurable progress. Specific dates, events, dresses, and physical challenges.

I set up rewards for pounds lost, for weeks of consistent exercise, for meeting my calorie goals. I scheduled races to train for, bought a dress in a size too small and hung it on my door. I planned a vacation for 8 months down the line, and set my mind on wearing a two-piece swimsuit with confidence. I committed to these external forces to help push me through to my ultimate goal of getting healthy and being happier.

So often in our journeys we ebb and flow through motivation. I know that once I reached my initial goals, and passed those external motivations, I eased back into an internal source of motivation to keep going. I couldn’t stay focused on pounds or rewards, or I would have withered away, and depleted my bank account buying goodies for myself! It was a new identity as a healthy and fit person that kept me going forward with these new habits.

Yet here I am today, three and half years since meeting my first goals, and I’m back to external motivation. The past few months have been awfully crazy, and had me focusing in other areas of my life more than on my own physical and mental health. As life has it, this happens and is totally normal. What’s also normal, though not desirable, is gaining a few pounds every now and again.

Well, I gained a few pounds this winter. Approximately 6 pounds, to be honest. (It’s hibernation weight, right? Blasted cold outside, getting antsy inside.)

I recognize this reality as my needed kick-in-the-rear to get back into prioritizing my health. I’ve not been ridiculously off track, and I still eat a vegan diet (mostly whole foods, but some occasional convenience foods and too much sugar…). But that doesn’t mean I don’t have room for improvement.

It’s back to the wellness center for me. Back to early morning workouts, and juicing. I’ve been food journaling and keeping honest with myself about what I’m putting into my mouth. I have also set a few specific external rewards and motivations for the coming months.

My biggest external motivation is the Mrs. International Pageant, taking place at the end of July. Though the pageant does not include a swimsuit contest (thank goodness), it does have a fitness wear segment. The fitness attire is two-piece, with a sports bra top, and spandex shorts. This thought alone is terrifying enough to get me motivated to work out more consistently, and pause before shoveling in loads of cookies and chocolate. I also purchased my evening gown for the event, and admittedly – it’s a little snug in my hips. I would like to feel radiantly confident in how I look and feel on stage by then, so that thought (along with the sight of my beautiful gown hanging in my office) is keeping me excited about challenging myself again.

The internal motivation to live and stay healthy and happy is still present, though hasn’t been enough lately to keep me reassessing my behaviors. It’s time to turn outward – and keep moving forward.

Whether it is from within or from without, motivation is a beautiful tool to keep you pressing onward. I challenge you today to determine what is the best way to get you moving whatever direction you need, and to not discriminate if that motivation looks like a new pair of shoes in two months, or perhaps a beautiful dress.

And as always – it comes down to choice. You direct your future success or failures by what you do today. If you’re lacking motivation of any kind, feel free to read this old blog of mine about just that.

Category: healthy