Category: goals

Posted on

Making Space

In a society where fullness and success is equal to the amount of “stuff” you can pack into a day and a life, I’ve been doing some mindful thinking about “emptying” out some things to make some space.

Really, this practice started with the onset of quarantine this spring.

We were all jarred from our “normal” and left to question what are the activities we truly value, and who are the people we truly crave and need in our lives. We slowed down, simplified, spent more time at home, and opened up space in our lives — even if we didn’t really want to or choose to. 

This has looked different for everyone, and continued or ceased to varying degrees. But the reality is, everything changed in some way for all of us back in March. And we are left either nursing wounds and healing from traumas, and/or examining what this “new normal” looks like and trying to fill in gaps with what we know between what we don’t know. (Maybe we are left with all of the above.)

I had a beautiful conversation recently with my friend whom I admire deeply. Kendra has been through the ringer this year, with unparalleled struggles and challenges amidst what’s been an overall bitter and tense year for most of the world with uncertainties. She has been going through a journey with breast cancer during a world-pandemic, and experiencing transitions in her entrepreneurial businesses as well. Through it all, she is one of the most positive, inspiring individuals I am honored to know, and keeps reevaluating what new opportunities lie on the horizon.

We talked about clearing space, and leaving space, in a simple analogy about cleaning out the fridge. You know when life gets busy and you have barely been able to make food at home, or you let those leftovers sit in the fridge for well past their consumption point? Well, there comes a time when we have to open the door, acknowledge that we missed our opportunity to use the produce and eat the food, and toss it. It needs to be cleared out. It’s done, it’s no good, and it’s gone bad. Toss.

The impulse (for me, and many of us) in this situation is first: to blame ourselves and gripe about wasting food; and then to make a list of things I “need” and go to the grocery store to fill the shelves again with renewed intentions to Make All The Food and Do Better.

But what if we don’t immediately rush to fill the open shelves? What if we re-examine what we are left with, and decide to get creative? What if we remember that we actually have a whole pantry of food as well, and can find ways to hold off on the impulse to immediately refill the fridge?

It’s uncomfortable to be left with space. It forces us to look at what is left outside of the immediate and cursory view of our needs. We need to get creative with what we have, and see that life can and will go on, and our bellies and minds will not starve. 

Just in the last four weeks, after months of planning for my new school year with my voice studio, I had five students fall off from my roster last minute. Five spots. I had been planning on the return of several students from last year, and the starting of a few new ones I had been in communication with for a few months. And then bam. Nope. Not returning. 

It hit me hard. My first thought was frustration, followed by a deep seeded insecurity (what did I DO wrong? Why don’t they like me!?). Then came panic and worry about what that means for my planned income. And then the intense urge to immediately start marketing and seek out as many new students as possible to Fill Up Space in my allotted spots.

As I’ve sat with this new openness, I’m coming to see that it’s not the worst. We will be okay financially. The space is giving me a chance to have openness on weeknights where I would normally be crammed into mental focus from 3:45-8:00 pm. It’s lightened my load. And I can focus on filling space with the quality students that really truly want to learn and continue in this path of music with me. 

Another way I’ve been challenging myself to be ok with space is by deleting Facebook from my phone. I’ve found myself mindlessly scrolling for upwards of hours cumulatively on and off throughout most days, with nothing of substance to show for it. What could that space in my day allow for me to do instead? What do I gain from feeling frustrated and depressed by political posts and caustic comments on threads of divisive vitriol? Nothing. Clear it out. Be done with it. Toss it. It’s gone bad.

In the month of September, I’ve also made a challenge for myself to stop drinking alcohol. Like so many during this stressful year, I’ve settled into a habit of a few glasses of wine most nights of the week, and although I don’t think that’s the worst thing, I feel like I could do with a break from it mentally and physically. So I’ve shifted focus to other habits in the evening for unwinding. What does this space look like? It may look like ice cream sometimes, or a cup of hot tea. Maybe it’s an earlier bedtime, or sparkling water in a pretty glass. Although I really miss wine every night, I’m glad to be doing this experiment (with two planned breaks – a wedding, and a special date 9/26).  

As we lead into a new season, I challenge you to consider what making space can look like in your life. Maybe you work to create space where you’ve felt stifled and overwhelmed. Or maybe you simply re-evaluate what the space looks like that’s been left in the wake of this year of pandemic and stress. 

We can choose to do with the space whatever we want.

““You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…” 

– Dr. Seuss from “Oh the Places You’ll Go”
Posted on

Starting Over: Part 2

What is a fresh start without a fresh look?

Rebranded logo for She Lives Fit (c) 2020

When I started spitballing ideas for how I wanted to reshape and redirect my business offerings as a coach, I contemplated whether I wanted to stick with my brand – She Lives Fit – or abandon completely and rename as well as redesign the image. Back in 2011, I went through a series of possible business names, focused on fitness, wellness, health, alliteration plays with “Whit Wellness,” “Fit Whit” and many more… but I landed on “She Lives Fit” after realizing I wanted to focus on she – not me. Also, I loved the idea of “fit” as much more encompassing than exercise. “Fit” meant living in a way that “meets your purpose” – that “fits” for you. In my coaching, I have always focused on “fitting MORE” healthy, positive things into your life, to naturally make less space for the things that are less “fitful” for you. 

Of course, “living fit” can also mean living in a way that is physically active, mindful of your health, and prioritizing your wellness in a way that results in ultimate “fitness.” 

So back to relaunching: I decided I didn’t want to part with the name I’ve bonded with and held onto throughout the years. But I did want to refocus the tagline and direction.

She Lives Fit: Plant Powered Coaching.

Fitting healthy food and ethical choices into your family life.

Retired logo – SLF 2011

When my original logo was conceptualized, I did it myself with an outdated version of Creative Suite, back in 2011 in a time of different design aesthetics. I was young, fresh in the world of health coaching and wellness, and didn’t really have a full concept of what I would find as my niche. My logo was bright, youthful, bouncy, girly, and incorporated an element of a female form “leaping” into a new life. 

Rethinking my approach this time, and reflecting on how my own life has transitioned and evolved over the last decade, I wanted some help from an expert in the design field. So I contacted my brilliantly talented best friend and graphic designer, Katie Sterner, to help me out with the project.

We talked about my vision… incorporating plants, organic movement, growth, transition, maturity and sleek line elements into the concept. She helped flesh out the brand to several options (all beautifully done) and we settled on the one I’ve debuted today.

The emblem is meant to evoke a feeling of forward movement, direction, and organic leaf-like form, with a dawning/horizon abstract element in the circle rising above. The font is classic, clean, mature, and relatable as adults who appreciate form and structure. The tagline, “Plant Powered Coaching” is meant to encompass the direction I take in giving YOU the power to reclaim your health through plants. You get to decide what that looks like. It doesn’t need to be the same for everyone, and it doesn’t need to conform to a set definition of “vegan,” “vegetarian,” “whole-food-plant-based” or any set diet out there. 

Let’s determine how to fit plants into your life, in a way that is empowering, enriching, and sustainable. 

I hope you love the new look as much as I do! I wanted to share my journey of rebranding and relaunching with you all to give a better view of what I plan to do here, and how my business mantra and passion is evolving.

Are you curious about what I could offer for your life and goals? I hope you’ll reach out. I can chat quickly on the phone for 15 minutes, or we can set a coffee date and get into more detail. Either way, I’m here to listen. 

Let’s plant some seeds to move you into your right fit. 

In your best health,

Whit

Posted on

A Recipe for Health and Happiness

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a perfect “recipe” for your health and happiness?

Something like: 10,000 steps in the clean fresh air, 2 ½ cups of kale, 3 tsp of spirulina, 1 cup of brown rice, 1 apple, 8 oz. of celery juice, and 30 minutes of yoga per day. Consume daily, and add 1 supportive spouse, 2 respectful children, 1 well-cleaned home, 1-week tropical vacation, and a lifetime of empowering and lucrative work to round out the happiness factor. Voila! 

I jest of course, but wow, that would be nice.

It would be nice if there was a simple equation to ensure you could do and have all that you want in your health and happiness… that if you eat juuuuuust the right combination of things, and earn juuuust enough, and have juuuust enough skills in stress-management, you can somehow successfully manage your weight, internal health, physical fitness, financial security, relationships, and mental wellbeing all at once.

It’s a fools game, really. 

I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out that magical balance, both in my own life and for others whom I have coached. And the reality is that it shifts infinitely through life as you grow, as situations change, relationships fail and rebloom, and bodies age. There isn’t a perfect fit for everyone that will lend to that ever elusive “health and happiness” balance we all strive for.

So what on earth could I be offering, now that I’ve said no “one thing” can work to make it happen? 

What I can do is offer you a chance at a step in a direction that brings you joy. A lifestyle transition that resonates with the peace you long to feel, and the pleasure of foods your body craves. 

We are always in transition in this life. We are always in a process of “becoming”… evolving into a slightly different and more wisened version of ourselves. Through our experiences, our wins and failures, we are always tweaking that “recipe” for health and happiness – taking a little of this and that, and making it work for whatever we are going through. 

As it looks right now, in the COVID-19 pandemic, we are all experiencing an upheaval of our “recipes”. So for many, now may be the time to adapt to what a new normal may look like… and to begin including new healthy habits and foods to your recipe. 

Here is wishing you a most beautiful, healthful, and enriching new recipe. 

Posted on

Starting Over: Part 1

We all have to start over at some point in our lives.

Depending on how you’re feeling about it, the process can either be incredibly painful, or a fresh bright chance at a new beginning. For many of us, starting over can actually be a complicated mess of both these emotions, tangled up in this indecipherable web of conflicting feelings. 

I’ve had many years to process what happened to my dream, to my career vision with health coaching, and even to my marriage that waned and bent under the weight of failures and miscommunications. I started She Lives Fit as a bright and beaming 24 year old, ready to take on the world and make waves of positive change. Less than a year into my venture, I realized it was going to take a lot more financial security to make ends meet for my husband and I, and I gradually eased back into part time and eventually full time employment in other ventures. I was devastated, but still continued to accept a few clients on the side of my many hours of work and private teaching and volunteering.

In 2016, I birthed my son. Becoming a mother fundamentally shifted my entire life. (I feel like there should be a warning about the degree to which women feel altered hormonally and emotionally while breastfeeding, even when it’s not fully considered postpartum depression.) It was the closure of any “free time” I had to engage in entrepreneurial work while also working full-time and nursing my infant. I quietly let the door shutter on my dream, as my strained marriage and family responsibilities took its steady toll on any flicker of hope I had left.

I mourned the loss of this dream. Mourned it, cried over it, berated myself, gained some weight, struggled with certain healthy habits amidst roils of life change, and eventually just concluded I needed a new dream. Washed my hands. Moving forward. “You failed. Suck it up, buttercup.”

I experienced the end of my first marriage throughout this mourning process as well. Cue sweeping waves of emotional ruin, complete devastation… and somewhere buried under the ash: the smallest seed of hope for a new life and new dream ahead.

Starting over isn’t easy. Anyone who has been through a traumatic “end” of some kind knows that. And sometimes the way we start over is just by licking our wounds, tending to our emotional scars, and taking one baby-step at a time into a new existence.

Thankfully, the end of one chapter of my life began the start of a beautiful new vision and reality. I started my life over, grew into a more confident mother by single parenting, resolved to do better in my future relationships, and build myself into the self-made and confident woman I knew I could be and wanted to be back when I was 21 years old. I remarried – and have so much to be thankful for. My spouse is loving, encouraging, and supportive in all the right ways. From the beginning of our relationship, when I confessed my feelings of devastation and failure with my business, he said it wasn’t over. He said he could see it happening again – just with the right foundation in place. He believed in me long before I believed in myself, and for that I am so grateful.

When we got married, I quit my full-time employment in medical care, and moved into the position I hold currently with VitaLife: working in health and wellness coaching again, with the security of a business model that I knew would be successful, and support at home to make it happen. I also was able to focus on my private voice studio and expand the number of students I could teach. Everything was falling into place.

A few months ago, I was looking through bank statements and saw my recurring monthly web-hosting payment on my ledger, and got extremely agitated. 

“This is so dumb, Whitney. Why keep this stupid website you never even update or use, when you aren’t coaching on your own!? You keep paying year after year to keep this useless thing, just cancel it already.”

I slogged through the irritating process of resetting my usernames and passwords because I couldn’t remember any of it, and got logged in to my host site and hovered over “cancel”… I clicked it… and it said, “Are you sure you want to cancel and deactivate your domain?” 

And I hesitated. I wasn’t sure.

That tiny seed under the ash had been growing subconsciously, being watered and tended lovingly with the affirmations of my husband and the little pieces of fate falling into place over the last year with my jobs and life. I’ve been happier and more content than ever, which is the most fertile place for hope to germinate and thrive.

I didn’t want to give it up. I didn’t cancel, and I didn’t let go.

After a lot of discussion, excited brainstorming, and the right support, I decided it was time to refocus. Time to relaunch my dream, in a new direction and with my new life. I know so much more than I did nearly a decade ago when this all began. My life looks totally different, and so does our society and cultural norms. (And amidst the COVID nightmare we are all experiencing, I have had a lot more time at home to fill with work and projects.) The equation is completely different now….

It’s time to start over.

And I’m so glad that you’re here.

Posted on

SPARK in 2018: Simple Strategies for Success

Here we are again: days into the start of a New Year, the cushion of holiday indulgences straining our waistlines, reminders of the self-control we lacked for weeks (or possibly months). Leftover cookies litter the counters, and dusty hand weights sit neglected in our home gyms. We know we should put on sneakers and head outside for a run, but the call of the couch beckons, the incomplete to-do list nags our minds, and the thought of the cold air stinging our lungs keeps us stationary.

A new year always brings a renewed sense of hope, while the end of the last curdles with hindsight and perceived failures. I know personally I tend to set sights too high, and then feel tremendous frustration when the path takes unexpected turns that do not lead me to where I envisioned. It’s human nature to hunger for more than we can deliver, more than we have or can create.

So how do we reconcile this disappointment with the surge of a new beginning in 2018?

I have no fool-proof answers, or magic shortcuts to weight-loss or wellness. Ultimately, success lies in your dedication to make it happen. But I do have steps that can help us each get off on the right tract, and hopefully carry us through the challenges and setbacks that life will inevitably throw our way.

Here are a few simple strategies that will reap great rewards over the course of the next year.

S-P-A-R-K in 2018

Start Small
It is often the things that seem insignificant that become the greatest springboard for change over time. What is one small step and goal you can set that will give you momentum into a healthier lifestyle and happier you? Do you rely on a soda in the morning at your desk? Try gradually reducing that habit with substitutions and additions of healthier snacks and drinks. Can you spare 10 minutes on a break to do wall push-ups and body-weight squats? Even a simple habit like this can build into something greater over time.

Practice Consistency
When it comes to change and redirection, it is not what you do 10% of the time that matters, it’s what you do 90% of the time. Practice repetition of your small habit. When you catch yourself longing to ignore or brush it off, stop and remind yourself that this step will give you the foundation for the next step and the next. When you slip up and make a choice counter to your goals, return to your simple habit and value the practice of consistency most of the time. Practice may not make perfect. But practice makes consistency possible.

Advocate for yourself
You are a priority. Your needs and goals are a priority. When you start advocating for your own wellbeing and your goals, you make space for change to happen. If you are constantly putting yourself aside for others, and neglecting your needs, you wear yourself down and cannot offer your best to anyone or anything. This new year, start being your own advocate. What it is YOU need to feel better?

Rest and rejuvenate
Continual mental and physical energy forward requires recovery time. Even from small bouts of repeated self-control exercises, you need to award yourself the time and space to rest. Reconnecting with your spiritual health can be a profound way to rejuvenate in times of stress and intense attention.

Know your long term goal
How would your year shape up differently if you framed your choices around your long-term goal and dream for yourself? If you wake each day with your vision in mind, and your action steps in place to consciously create the reality you desire? Keeping your long term goal for yourself in the forefront of you daily decision making can radically redirect your life and your health. Who do you want to be in 2018, and how can you take small steps each day to make that person your reality?

As we head into a fresh new year filled with great potential and possibilities, I hope you can keep these simple strategies in mind to reignite your “SPARK” for your health and wellbeing.

Today, I challenge you to write a brief mantra and reminder for your first small step to begin. How will this year start off different than others? What will set your year up for accumulative success that does not stall at January’s end?

Let 2018 be the year for your wellbeing.